Gravity
by DedicatedToTwilight
Summary: In episode 3x21, an 'entire bottle of wine' is blamed. The story of what happened that night.
1. Chapter 1

Instinct puts him in that elevator. An indescribable desire to prevent and protect and, if too late, comfort. He knows her weakness, her understandable need to know her father. The way she got so quickly and deeply involved with William, the way she would implicate herself in anything that mattered to her. Vulnerable, open, guaranteed to be hurt. He doesn't want that to happen.

When Dan sees her on the edge of the armchair, there is a violent urge inside him to destroy...something. The straight alignment of that man's nose or his overwhelming confidence. Make him see what he's done. Forbid him to ever speak to her again. Hurt her.

He doesn't say 'I told you so'. He hates himself for being right. What he would give for things to be different... When her gaze rests on his, he can't just watch anymore. With two strides, he stands in front of her, and grips her wrist, pulling her into his embrace. She is stiff and cold and shaking at the beginning, but once she realises that it's _Dan_, that he's there for her, her face hides in his neck and her arms slowly wrap around his body.

He runs his fingers through her hair, the way he always did when she needed it but wouldn't ask. Dan feels her hands knotted with his T-Shirt at his lower back, and it worries him how much too natural that feels. How it'd annoy him when Vanessa did it. _It was reserved for someone else. Only. _

He's glad he's there for her, and as much as he'd want different circumstances, he's glad it's him and not someone else. _He's glad it's not Nate. _And he doesn't know if he should hate himself for that, or hating himself for feeling..._that_...way about his best friend's girlfriend. Whatever way that was. Or both.

'I'm sorry I doubted you and Rufus. For all the things I said and thought and shouldn't have...' she interrupts his thoughts, her breath tickling the hairs at the back of his neck.

'You don't deserve this, Serena. You shouldn't have to apologize for it. He was your father – '

'And he didn't want me. He came here for my mother, to get her back. Not me or Eric. No matter what he said, he didn't want me.'

'That is his loss. Who the hell is he not to want you?' She's heard words like those before. An orange dress and the summer heat, from a boy that she might have once...preferred. Not from the right boy. Not from _this_ boy.

'All I ever wanted...' She started again. 'All I ever needed... I...'

As his arms tighten around her, an idea comes to mind. It's crazy and impulsive, but when are things not like that around Serena van der Woodsen? And when has he ever minded it?

The next thing he knows is he's calling for a taxi.

-xoxo-

While he waits in the cab, he realises he's betrayed his family and broke the law at the same time. But he can't regret it.

It becomes worthwhile once she sits next to him again and rests her head on his shoulder. The warmth is familiar, soothing, nostalgic. He finds himself having missed it.

'I don't want to go home just yet. I don't have anywhere else to go...' she mutters, almost as if to herself.

'Yes, you do. You always do,' he vows, before informing the driver that they're going to Brooklyn.

-xoxo-

She's exhausted when they get to the loft and he knows her too well not to notice. He likes to think it's purely physical. But he knows she is close to an emotional collapse. And he couldn't bear that. He never wanted to see her that way.

He removes her coat and places it on a bar stool.

'I'll get you something to drink. You go sit down; the knitted blanket is...'

'I know.' She smiles, not directly at him, but he knows it's for him. And it catches on pretty quickly.

She walks into his bedroom and it's like walking into the best time of her life. The happiest time. Her steps seem to retrace themselves; she's been here so many times before... so long ago. She stops for a second, only to close her eyes. And she sees the same bedroom, same furniture, his shirt on the floor, and his sheet around her. She shakes her head, hoping to clear it. Closes her eyes again, pretending to imagine a suite at a hotel and Nate's blue shirt. And she just...can't.

The blanket is folded nicely in his wardrobe. As she unfolds it, she realises it had been left the way she left it. It hadn't been used since. A piece of paper falls from between the folds.

_I wish you knew how much I loved you. _

His handwriting. She never got it.

'Here you are.' He startles her, but she is quick enough to stuff the piece of paper in the back of her jeans. She can't quite explain why.

'Our kettle is...broken...and they say alcohol is better. Ok, no one says that, except for maybe alcoholics, but this is pretty much all I have.'

She smiles, encouragingly. 'It's perfect.'

-xoxo-

She sits cross-legged in the middle of his bed, and he is so close to her, it feels like their knees touch even when they're not. He doesn't pressure her into talking; he stares at her long fingers, gripping her glass, the wine intact inside.

He waits, and waits, and she is grateful that he's patient. And there for her. And she wishes she knew what to say. But she doesn't know where the hell to begin.

As always, he knows what do, when to do it. He takes her glass away from her hands, and places it on the nightstand, his own next to it. Then he wraps the blanket around her shoulders, moving her hair out from underneath it, his knuckles softly touching her cheek in the process. It feels like they're vibrating. And he cannot explain why he feels that way. The way he did when he was fifteen.

'Twenty Questions,' he announces, and claps his hands with so-called excitement.

She lets out a weak laugh. 'What?'

'It's either that, or Never Have I Ever...'

'Twenty Questions it is!' she says, and laughs gently with him.

'Okay. What was the most boring moment of your life?'

'Dancing at the masked ball with that guy... what did you call him?' She throws her head back, trying to remember. 'Pompous Ass the fourth,' she declares, and giggles at the memory.

'Favourite day of the year?' she asks, and there is a part of her that hopes to already know the answer. The same answer as hers. And when he replies 'Fourth of July,' she can't suppress the tight pain in her chest.

'Never knew you were that much of a patriot,' she jokes half-heartedly, her attention suddenly focussed on her fingers.

'I'm not.' He waits a moment before continuing. 'Let's get deep. Biggest regret of your life.'

She doesn't reply for a while, and he starts to worry he might have said something wrong. It relieves him to hear her ask 'honesty or cliché?'

'Honesty. It's just me here. You can tell me anything.'

Her gaze is strong on his, and she reads something in him. Judges something, measures something else. She sighs, her eyes close and her eyelids tremble. 'Not telling you about Georgina. And Pete, and Nate, and my history with them.' Her voice shakes just the same. There is a knot in his throat, and as much as he tries, he cannot swallow it. Little does he know that she experiences the same feeling less than a metre away from him.

'If I hadn't been so stupid we could've...'

'Don't,' he warns, and it takes a lot out of her to enquire a simple 'why?'

'Because we can't say things like this to each other anymore. We're...'

'It's the truth,' she whispers, stopping him mid flow. 'And our current situation doesn't matter. It will always be the truth.'

'Serena...'

'Don't worry, I don't expect anything. I stopped expecting _something_ a while ago. I just wanted to be honest with you, tell you how I...see things. After all, this is where we went wrong every time. This is why we failed.' She starts to look away, but his voice brings her gaze back to him. Reflex. Automatic.

'I will never see us, what we were, as a failure. We were my biggest accomplishment. My greatest success. You were, and...still are... the most important person in my life,' he promises, and smiles gently to himself. 'I lied earlier. I don't really care about the fourth of July. My favourite day _ever_ is the 24th of December 2007, and I can't quite imagine what could possibly change that.'

She doesn't notice the proximity until her hands burn to touch his cheek, the tip of his nose, corner of his lips, lobe of his ear. She doesn't think or analyse repercussions as she gives in to impulse, resting a palm on his cheek. It feels just as it did three years ago.

Serena smiles softly once he reciprocates the gesture, the familiar feel of his skin against hers overwhelming her feelings or restraint and remorse. Their lips brush against each other so briefly, they cannot quite decide if it happened or not. So Dan tries again, placing his mouth against hers firmly, gently, perfectly. She breathes it all in; the smell of youth, and love and winter, and she decides she prefers it to the pungent smell of Nate's Jean Paul Gaultier perfume. Her fingers knot in his hair, the defined, longer curls than a lifetime ago threading around her sleek fingers, and her mouth opens just a little, deepening their kiss.

Soon she feels the soft surface of his duvet underneath her back, and her hands move gently over him, gripping the bottom of his T-Shirt. It doesn't take him long to remember the way it used to always come off; one swift motion, one quick interruption. Her wrists create a continuous line over his torso as she forces the top off him, and although their situation screams otherwise, it doesn't feel wrong for a single second.

Except it does, and he removes his hands from underneath her blouse, gently stopping their kiss.

'Serena, I'm sorry. We...can't...' he whispers, his cheek resting against hers. He means what he says, but at the same time he is prepared to compromise everything for the girl he cradles in his arms. And as unhealthy as it sounds, he desperately wants to.

As he looked at her, hair slightly messy and eyes holding remnants of sparks for the first time that night, Dan decides lust has nothing to do with it. He doesn't just _want_ her, he _loves_ her. But he doesn't tell her that, he just proves it to himself.

He picks up his T-Shirt and pulls it over her tank top, then unbuttons her jeans and pulls them off her legs, thoughtlessly kissing the tips of her knees once he uncovered them. He lays down next to her and holds her against his chest, placing kisses against her cheek and temple once she falls asleep in his arms. Before drifting off, he kisses her lips again. For the last time.

-xoxo-

'_It was gravity.' _

'_Okay,' she mutters and turns to leave. _

'_You going for the hug, I went for the...' he explains, pointing at his cheek. Even at that moment, he is unable to wipe the goofy smile he has plastered on his face. _

Once he is alone, he replays every single moment of last night in his head. In one single evening, he managed to betray his family, break the law, cheat on his girlfriend with his best friend's girl, and realise who he truly loved and always would love. And the latter made up for all the others. At least at that moment.

Although it pains him to remember, he goes into his bedroom to attempt to hide the alcoholic evidence. As he carries it to the kitchen, he remembers blaming last night on 'an entire bottle of wine' and, by the weight of it, realises how untrue that was. It wasn't the wine. It wasn't even gravity. It was chemistry. The never fading chemistry between them which Dan knew would someday bring them together once again.

_**A/N:**__ Here is another little ficlet. For those who have read 'Gossip Girl', I am planning to continue it, don't you worry, but am currently facing the world's worst case of writer's block, from which I hope to emerge soon. (I try so hard to impress you, guys!) Please take a second to review this story! Thank you :) _


	2. Chapter 2

'No, it doesn't.' And he was determined to do something about it.

-xoxo-

As soon as his plane landed on French tarmac, there was a slight buzz in his chest. Anticipation, frustration, the fact that he had no damn clue how to find her, they were all kind of closing in on him. But he compared them with his target, _her_, and his potential prize, still _her_. And his so called 'problems' seemed more and more insignificant.

All the crap people say about Paris being 'the city of love' and 'the city of lights' was true. He felt overwhelmed by the beauty, and the class, and the vintage smell of the city. Everything about it seemed refined, and for someone who loved to just observe people and then write about them, this was absolute heaven. The sky was dark, but everything around him shined. The brightest, of course, being Paris' most famous landmark. As he sat at a small cafe in the vicinity of it, he realised how happy he was to be here. To attempt and start a new relationship with Serena away from the toxic air of New York and everything that came with it. A relationship that would last.

He didn't know where to start, where to look, but there was a small part of him that knew he would somehow find her. He slept at a small hotel close to the centre of Paris, and dreamt of her. Not unusual for him.

He started his search for her the next morning, visiting all the places her and Blair fantasised about going to. And it worried him that another sunset enveloped around him and he was still alone. There was something attracting him to the Eiffel Tower, and, after realising he needed the daylight to attempt a successful find, he took an elevator to the top.

It literally felt like being on top of the world. For someone living in NYC, someone used to the sight from the top of a sky scraper, Dan had never felt so free. It must have had something to do with the different air and tension, the smell of freedom, no expectations, just him.

And her. He couldn't believe the fact that his gaze had rested on her back, and he double checked the fact that he could still breathe, that there was still some oxygen left in the thin atmosphere around him. He loosened his shirt, and for the first time since deciding to come to France after her, he had no idea what to say. 'Hey, I stalked you here,' didn't seem like a good enough love story starter.

She sat at a small table, a beautiful dress around her body and a croissant on a plate in front of her. He smiled; at least her appetite was intact. His heart seemed encaged in...something... and with every step he took towards her, he felt that cage getting smaller and smaller. _Man up, Humphrey. This is what you came here for. _

'Serena?' he asked, and slowly touched her shoulder, grabbing her attention.

'Oh, my God, Dan, what are you doing here?' she asked, and jumped out of her seat, throwing her arms around him. He linked his around her waist, and they just stood in each other's embrace for what seemed like a much too short second. He breathed her in, her specific, intoxicating smell, and his heart raced just a little. He had done the right thing coming here.

He sat opposite her at the small, round table, which seemed out of a Grace Kelly movie.

'Where's Blair?' he asked, once the anticipation and tension around them dissipated slightly.

'Out. With some... French guy. I just needed the quiet, she needed the privacy. And this is my favourite cafe in Paris. Of course, I wouldn't tell Blair that...' She giggled.

'Why not?'

'If it's not one of the most famous places in Paris, she doesn't bother to remember its name.' She laughed and focused her attention back on him. 'So why are you here? Brooklyn is quite far away, you know...' She joked, and he laughed gently with her.

'You know that stuff I wanted to talk to you about? Well, it can't wait. I need to say this now.'

He waited a second, analysing her expression, hoping to notice a change. But nothing more than confusion was seen between the blueness of her eyes.

'Serena, I think there is a reason why we always come back to each other somehow. All this time, I kept putting it off, ignoring it, because I was selfish enough to protect myself from getting hurt. But I was wrong in doing so. I was wrong in ignoring the fact that, since that stupid kiss with Rachel Carr, I have never been truly happy. That the only one to make me so is you.'

'Dan...' she interrupted, but he closed his eyes, hinting to her to let him finish. He knew he wouldn't say it again, even if he had to. It was...emotionally draining.

'I'm here because sometimes it's about going for the right thing at the right time. _This_ is the right time, Serena. This is our time. I'm here because I love you, like I've never loved anyone before, and like I don't think I'll love anyone again. I just needed you to know this, give you another option, hope for another chance. I'm here to _beg_ for another chance.'

The fact that she was avoiding his gaze didn't help. His palms were sweating, and he felt like he was losing her. And that feeling was the most horrible feeling in the world.

'I don't regret that kiss. I don't regret the way I felt when it happened, or the way I felt afterwards. I would have done it again, at the hospital, if my phone hadn't rung. I want you back, Serena, with every fibre of my being, and I just need to know if you feel the same.'

He waited while she collected her thoughts, and it was the most painful wait of his life. Agonising. The cage around his heart was the smallest it had ever been.

'I broke up with Nate...' was her only reply.

'I know. And I'm sorry, but at the same time I'm not,' he said, gently, and she completely understood what he meant.

'The only reason I did it, the one reason I wouldn't allow myself to admit, was because I didn't feel about him in the same way. Something had changed inside me the night my father left. The night we...' She trailed, and brought her gaze back to his. 'I remembered everything I tried to forget in that one single kiss. Everything I fought with, everything I hated myself for feeling. Everything I wished I could've felt for Nate. And it's not fair to be so in love with you, but I can't help the fact that I am.'

He let out a relieved laugh, the corners of his mouth stretching into a soft, faded smile. He walked towards her, kneeling in front of her chair, taking her hands in his.

'I left New York to fight once more. To forget. And you being here is really not helping,' she muttered, and he laughed softly again, bringing her knuckles to his lips and kissing them repeatedly.

'You don't have to. I don't want you to.'

'I don't want to either.' She leaned into him, their foreheads meeting in the middle. She fisted one hand into his hair, and the feeling of his thick locks between her fingers reminding her of everything that she once lost. He placed his hands onto her hips, finding their own place where they always stood. Once their lips touched, anything else stopped mattering. It was just them, on the top of their world.

-xoxo-

It was good to be back, and it was good to be back _together_.

_I miss you. And I'm waiting for you. We have to tell our parents somehow, before they find out from somewhere else. I can't do it alone... –S _

_I'm on my way. You don't have to do it alone. I'm right here, remember? I love you. –Dan _

_I know. –S _

He searched for his keys, when an unexpected knock came from his front door.

'Come in, it's open!' he shouted, looking into the pocket of one of his coats.

'Hi, Dan.' The voice sickened him.

He could barely speak for a second, his eyes widening with the shock of seeing the malicious brunette. 'Georgina, what the hell are you doing back in town?'

_**A/N**__**: **__Second chapter for you guys. It begins towards the end of the 22nd episode of the 3rd season. Enjoy, and, of course, REVIEW! Thanks for reading. xx _


	3. Chapter 3

The ground underneath him shook. Every step was a burden; his body frozen, his heart racing, his brain shouting insults at itself. It felt like the end of the world; the end of _his_ world. He had no idea what to do, what to say, how to say it. He knew where to go and he needed to keep walking, but he desperately hoped to never get to his destination. To never have to face an inevitable consequence.

The city was buzzing, as always, but he couldn't have noticed. There was a bloody battle inside him. What was he going to tell her? What could have possibly been enough to make her stay?

He wished he could cry. And cry, and cry. He forcefully closed his eyes, hoping even a tear would come out, wanting to feel sorry for himself. But his eyes stayed dry, as much as he tried otherwise, and his heart only whispered one name. Serena's.

Dan ignored her mother's polite greeting, and refused to shake his father's hand. He pushed past them, heading straight for her room. The walls of the hallway were closing in on him. It felt like he would never reach her, apologize, beg for forgiveness. The most oppressive claustrophobic feeling enveloped him, stalling his feet. And once she noticed him beside her doorframe and walked over to him, his head started spinning harder than it was earlier.

_God, this is it. _

Her face straightened in an instant, as she realised something was wrong. Very wrong. She took hold of his hands, but it seemed like her heat burnt his fingers, so he pulled away, walking towards her unmade bed. He left her confused, and it took him a while to clarify everything.

'Dan, what's going on?' she asked, and sat beside him, the earlier rejection still sore on her hands. She didn't touch him.

The distraught look on her face made him regret his behaviour. He looked at the girl in front of him and realised that there was a big possibility that was his last moment to call her his. His last moment of happiness. And he wanted to make the most of it. To last him close to a lifetime. That blew him away.

He took her hands off her lap, and brought them closer to his lips, kissing each in turn a couple of times. Her thumb lingered across his bottom lip, stroking its edge, and he just sat there, allowing her to comfort him. Once she found out, he knew he would never feel her feathery touch again.

'Dan...' she whispered, slowly placing herself in his lap, his knees resting on either side of his hips. 'You're scaring me. What is going on?' she asked again, and placed his hands on his face, forcing his eyes on hers.

She felt horrified at what she saw among the deep copper streaks in his soft, brown eyes. The fact that she couldn't quite understand what it was scared her even more.

'Dan...' she insisted, her voice a bit louder than before. Her heart beat so fast inside her chest, she knew he could hear it, and he confirmed this by taking his hand in hers, gripping it tightly.

'You know I love you, right?' he started, and he saw the bottom of her eyes fill up slowly, soft glistens reaching the rims.

'Dan...' she started again, but he interrupted.

'Just answer my question,' he responded sharply, but still placed his hand on her cheek, comfortingly.

'Of course I know.'

'You need to know, Serena, that I am so, so in love with you. I never want to ever let you go again. And I need to know that, no matter what I am about to tell you, you will not leave me. Because I'll need you.'

She saw water gathering in the corners of his eyes, and her heart broke a little for him. She tried to swallow her tears, and kissed him, her lips hard and firm against his.

'I couldn't leave again,' she promised, her mouth moving against his as she spoke, and covered his lips with hers one last time.

'Serena...' he whispered in the small space created once they pulled away.

'Yeah,' she replied, encouraging him to continue. Her hand rested at the back of his neck, fingers curled in the thin hair there.

'I'm... Georgina...' his eyes were closed, so he didn't see her eyes widen by the slightest at the mention of her name. 'I am going to be a father. Georgina is pregnant. And the baby is mine.' Every word he spoke was soft, and slow, and as if his throat was cut by millions of tiny razors.

And then her world came crashing down. His eyes locked on hers, and the fact that she stiffened in his embraced worried him even more.

'I'm sorry,' he continued. 'I never thought this would have happened. Georgina was just... a fling. I know this is so not the best thing for you and me right now, but at the end of the day, this child is half mine. And I couldn't look in my father's eyes again if I denied it a father. I just need you by my side, as I attempt to adjust to... fatherhood.' As he spoke, his hand rested on one of her thighs, his thumb rubbing circles over it.

Her mind worked quickly. She thought over, and over, and over the idea that Dan, _her_ Dan, was about to be the father of someone else's child. And that someone else was no other than Georgina. She realised that he wouldn't just be hers anymore, that he would always be linked in one way or another to the demonic brunette who had broken them up once before. But somehow, that gave her a feel of optimism. And power. A thought raced through her head; they were _strong_ enough to withstand it. She loved him enough to stand by his side, even if his first born wouldn't be half hers. She loved him too much to leave, a love too selfish to let him go. He was _her Dan_, even if he had to be Georgina's baby's father.

'Dan, it will be hard. It will be tiring, and challenging, and I have to admit I will be so jealous, but I don't want to be without you. And I would love to be by your side and help you raise this child, even if it wasn't _ours_, if you would let me.' Her voice was stronger than she thought it would be, and seeing the effect of that on him made her heart jump just a little.

His lips broke into a beautiful smile. 'You really are amazing. I love you so much, and I promise I won't screw it up again.' He united their foreheads.

'Hey, it will be half you. It's not _that_ screwed up. Hopefully it will overpower Georgina's half.'

He let out a relieved laugh. 'We can always hope,' he responded, and touched his lips to hers, his arms snaking tightly around her waist.

She had a reason to leave. And yet, she didn't. And he really had no idea how he had gotten so lucky.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Serena hid her head in his shoulder, pressing her lips to the material of his shirt, as he inspected the text.

He sighed deeply, and took her face in his hands. 'Are we ready to do this? It's happening.'

_**A/N: **__I don't know if this is any good, but hey, I'd have to update this story at some point, and my writing couldn't get any better than this. So I apologize. Review and let me know what you think! Oh, and updates will be soon-ish. Once exams are finito ;)._


	4. Chapter 4

A loud cry erupted from what used to be Jenny's old bedroom, and it woke them up. He groaned and rolled his body to one side, his feet touching the cold floor of his room. He was just about to move, before she draped an arm over him, stilling him.

'I'll go. NYU stars again soon. You need to sleep,' she whispered, and kissed his temple once his head laid back on the pillow.

'I love you,' he muttered, putting a smile on Serena's tired face.

She tiptoed into the room of the crying boy, and scooped him in her arms.

'Hey, Milo,' she whispered, trying to stop the 3 month old baby from wailing louder than he already was. 'You are one demanding baby, but who cares when you are so adorable,' she cooed, and lifted his head closer to her lips, his newborn smell infiltrating her system. It resulted in complete silence. His big blue eyes fixed on Serena, watching her with great attention as she walked around his nursery, hoping to get him back to sleep.

She laughed at his expression. 'Those beautiful eyes of yours will get you all the ladies. I'll tell you a secret, if you're anything like your father, you'll need all the help you can get,' she joked, and giggled softly to herself.

'Hey, I didn't need any help with you,' he spoke from behind her, surprising her with his presence.

His arms wound around her stomach, pressing her back into his chest. 'That is true,' she spoke, and smiled gently at him over her shoulder.

'You really are incredible with him. Not even Georgina can get him quiet that quickly.' He yawned slightly in her shoulder, and kissed the tip of it.

'Go back to bed, you're exhausted. It seems I won't be long,' she said, once she saw little Milo's eyes slowly close. He kissed her cheek and obeyed.

Before he exited the nursery, he took one last glance at the woman he loved. Seeing her with hair ruffled by sleep, uttering soft nothings to the baby in her arms reminded Dan of moments he had thought over and over before. _Whether she's pregnant, whether she's not pregnant... _He remembered seeing a similar version of this moment in his head for the briefest of seconds as he spoke those words. He loved Milo. Ever since the moment he held him in his arms for the first time. But he couldn't deny that he wished things would have been different in his life. That the baby Serena was holding wasn't half Georgina's, but half of her. And half of him. _Their_ baby.

She was aware Dan hovered for a couple more seconds, before feeling him go back to his room. Even so, her attention was fully captivated by the little miracle in her arms. She had learnt to love him as if his mother wasn't the one person she wished she didn't know. She loved him as her own, and it became so easy to pretend he actually was...

-xoxo-

She got back into his bed, wrapping his sheet tightly around him. Her chest felt heavy, her emotions getting the better of her. A tear escaped the corner of her eye, and although she wanted to blame it on a chronic lack of sleep, she knew the real reason had something to do with the third sleeping human in the loft.

Somewhere inside her, she knew she wanted to be the one to give him a son or a daughter. Georgina took that away from her too.

'Mmm, I missed you,' he muttered, pulling her closer to him, fitting her body perfectly against every curve of his.

But she didn't reply, and when a soft sob shook her in his embrace, he realised what was happening. He had seen it before.

He walked over to her side of the bed, and laid down to face her. 'I'm sorry, Serena.'

She closed her eyes. 'Don't be. I'm just being... hormonal.' She attempted to laugh it off.

'Shouldn't that be Georgina? Not that you could tell; she acts like she's hormonal all the time.'

Her voice was bitter. 'Yeah, well, it's not like she has any reason to be. I still can't believe she left you and Milo.' She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, attempting to dry them.

'It _is_ Georgina,' he argued, and kissed the side of her face. 'I hate it when you cry,' he whispered against her skin, pulling her closer.

'I'm sorry.'

Dan laughed at her. 'Only you could apologize for showing emotion,' he commented, and stroked the thigh she draped across his leg. 'I love you.'

She sniffled against his chest. 'I love you, too. That's why I'm acting like this.'

'We'll get over this,' he promised, and pulled the duvet around them, falling asleep with her tightly pressed against his heart.

-xoxo-

'S, I'm home,' he shouted as he opened the door to the loft. 'I brought formula for our little boy, something stronger for the adults, and grandpa!'

Once he walked further into the loft, he saw she was asleep on the sofa, with Milo lying peacefully on her chest. Her arms were enclosed around him, and one of his little hands was knotted in a lock of her hair. He seemed to enjoy that. Just like his father. Both sets of eyes were closed tightly with sleep, their breaths synchronised. He smiled softly to himself, as he sat beside her, and kissed the top of her head.

Gently, her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled at the sight of him.

'If you could only see yourselves right now,' Rufus said, and sat on the armchair opposite to them, opening a bottle of beer for his son. 'Son, I don't want to spoil the peaceful atmosphere in this house, but I need to talk to you both. I know this will sound bad, to say the least, but I took the liberty of carrying a paternity test on Milo.'

Dan's eyebrows knitted. 'What? Dad...'

'You have to understand, Daniel, that I don't trust Georgina Sparks. Just because she promises something, doesn't mean it's true. And I did this for you, too. It's not fair to raise a child that is not your own. It's not fair on you, not fair on Serena, and definitely not fair on Milo. He has the right to know his father, whoever that is.'

Dan sighed, his fingers rubbing his forehead briefly. Serena placed a palm against his back. _I'm right here. _

'I have the results. I want you to open it. We need to know, son.' Rufus handed him an envelope, and Dan felt the need to stare at it for a while. What was the outcome that he wanted?

Her hand founds its place on his thigh. _I'm right here. _

_**A/N**__: Another chapter. Strange, since this was originally meant to have one chapter, two at the most.I want to thank everyone who reviewed, your positive words make me really happy! I hope you continue enjoying this enough to review :). THANK YOU! _


	5. Chapter 5

'Georgina, how could you do this to me?' he shouted, failing his attempt to keep his voice down, knowing Serena and his son... no, not his son anymore... were in the opposite room.

'Dan, did you not listen to a single word I just said? The Russians were following me. They were going to kill me! And you were the best fake father on this side of Brooklyn. True sob story,' she explained, stuffing some of Milo's stuff into a box.

He sped towards her, taking it away from her, and placing its contents back where they were.

'Even if he is not my son, I love him as if he was. You have no idea what you not only put _me _through, but what you've done to Serena. You haven't got a clue as to how much she's suffered because of your stupid games!' His voice got louder with every word he said, and his hands worked quicker, his frustrations leaking into his actions.

'I can't say I'm too sorry about that. She was collateral damage, and to be quite honest, I'm glad she was. She deserved everything that she got, and I didn't even have to try that hard...'

'Stop talking, Georgina.' He closed his eyes, dropping the empty box by his feet and placing his head in his hands. 'I am not letting you take this child away from me,' he stated, his words slightly mumbled in his palms.

She heard it anyway. 'He's not your son. So it's not your choice.' The power of her words forbid him to stop her again as she put her son's stuff in the box. He had learnt to love a boy that he had no right in loving. And his heart bled a little at the concept of having to let him go.

'Thanks for babysitting. I had a great time at the 'spa',' she said, before walking out of his bedroom, taking Milo out of Serena's arms, and walking out his front door. Hopefully for the last time.

-xoxo-

Serena wasn't exactly sure what had just happened. But when she entered his room and saw him sitting at the edge of his bed, head in hands, she knew she could have assumed the worst. She wasn't sure what to do. Celebrate? She could never have. Although it had taken her a while, Milo was part of their little...family. She learnt to love him because he was Dan's son, and now that he wasn't anymore, it was surprisingly hard to stop.

She sat beside him, the palm of her hand placing in between his shoulder blades, trying to release the pressure pent up in there.

'Are you okay?' she asked, rubbing gentle circles over his shirt.

He sighed in his hands, and then dropped them by his side, his stare blank. 'Yeah.'

'I'm sorry,' she spoke, resting her head on his shoulder.

'So am I,' he said, and pressed his lips to the tip of her hair, allowing them to linger there. From the corner of his eye, he saw the empty crib in the middle of the room. She felt his lips tremble against her skin.

-xoxo-

A loud noise woke her up in the middle of the night, and her initial instinct was to drag her feet to Jenny's room, to check on Milo. But once her eyes fully opened, she remembered the events of the day before. The loft suddenly felt so empty, and for the briefest of seconds, her heart felt the same. She couldn't have imagined what Dan was feeling.

She mulled over the fact that he had been so distant towards her since it...happened. He avoided her, as if she was the reason he was hurting. Although he would have never admitted he was, in fact, suffering.

She looked over his side of the bed. It was empty, and, if she was completely honest, it felt empty even when he was lying beside her. For the first time since they got back together, his arm had been tucked underneath him, not draped over her waist.

She found him in the nursery, what looked like mauling the white crib with his hands. He groaned as the main frame wouldn't detach from one of the sides, and he smashed it on the ground, resulting in fragments of wood all over the floor.

She gasped a little at the loud noise, and his head shot towards her.

'Sorry, did I wake you?' he asked, his voice rougher than she expected it to be.

'No,' she lied, and walked beside him, kneeling there. 'Why are you doing this?' she asked, taking one hand of his in both of hers.

'What? Taking it down? I need to turn this room into an office,' he said, his eyes locked on their hands.

'At two o'clock in the morning?'

'It's as good a time as ever.'

'Dan. You forget who you're talking to. I know you, and right now you're lying to me,' she said, softly, and interlocked their fingers.

'Well, what's the point of it staying here, taking up space? I won't ever need it again, and I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd use the time wisely. It seems you forget who you're talking to, too. I _know _I woke you. And I'm sorry about that.'

She smiled a little. That was the closest she had felt to him since...it happened. 'Come with me back to bed. I'll help you take it down in the morning.'

'I won't be able to sleep,' he moaned, but complied to her wishes, getting up when she pulled him with her.

'Then we won't. Just lie there with me.'

-xoxo-

Her hands were clasped underneath her head, and from the way she was inclined, facing him, she could see in the darkness of his room that his eyes were still open, looking at her.

'Do you want to talk about it?'

He sighed deeply. 'No.'

'Okay. We don't have to. Just know that I'm here if you need me.'

He ran a hand in the space between them, searching for one of hers, and once he found it, he knotted his fingers with hers. 'I know.' He smiled, causing her lips to lift slightly too. 'You're the only thing that keeps me sane right now.'

_**A/N:**__ Here we go, guys! Another chapter :). I hope you like it enough to __**REVIEW**__! Thank you! _


	6. Chapter 6

_*A week later*_

They walked through Central Park, their knotted hands swinging between them. Serena stole quick glances in his direction; she knew it wouldn't go away instantly, but she was worried to realise his suffering lasted longer than she expected. He wasn't the same; tired, and angry, irascible, isolated, his behaviour was starting to scare her. The worst thing was that she couldn't talk to him about it. He wouldn't admit it.

They sat on their bench, and Serena took one of his hands in hers, and placed them in his lap.

'Are you okay?' she asked, her thumb rubbing over his palm.

He looked at her, and faked a smile. He was becoming better at doing that. 'Yeah, I'm fine.' He looked away.

She sighed. 'No, Dan, you're not. Talk to me,' she encouraged, and watched him as he took a deep breath, closing his eyes tightly as if to collect his thoughts.

'It's just... Sometimes...' he started, looking at nothing. 'Sometimes I wonder why Georgina took him away from me. Surely his real father isn't that much more of a keeper than I am. Even if I wasn't his real father, I would have loved him as if I was, and I don't get why that wasn't enough for Georgina. Why I wasn't enough...'

She noticed his eyes gloss over, and she knew she wouldn't be able to bear to see him cry.

'Hey,' she said, squeezing his hand lightly. 'Dan, you can't attempt to understand Georgina. That girl has some serious issues.' She hoped he would somehow laugh, but her words didn't seem to affect him at all.

She was starting to understand how much Milo actually meant to him, and she realised she had never known he actually wanted to be a father.

'Dan, I'm so proud of you. I know what it means not to have a father, and Milo couldn't have had a better one. I'm sure that when the chance comes again, you will be the best father any child could get.' He rubbed his cheek in his shoulder, his pride preventing him to allow himself to cry in front of her, and turned to smile at her. 'Not many people would have done what you did. You took in a child, and loved him as your own, cared for him, without any guarantee he was actually yours. And you loved him all the same after it was proven he wasn't. You are a good person; you're compassionate, you care, you sometimes care too much. I honestly had no idea you actually wanted a child that badly...'

He shook his head, interrupting her. 'It's not that I desperately wanted a child. It's just that once I was faced with that situation, I had to prioritise, put his boy, this tiny human being, who entirely depended on _me_, since his mother is a psychotic bitch, above anything else in my life. It was hard at the beginning, but I came to love caring for him. And when that was taken away from me, I didn't know how to go back to being Dan, Serena van der Woodsen's boyfriend, instead of Dan, the responsible father.'

She smiled, comforting him. He smiled back, his free hand wrapping around her forearm.

'If I am to be completely honest, the only thing more important to me than Milo was you. And God, Serena, when I found out Georgina was pregnant, the first thought running through my mind was 'what would happen to you and me'. The possibility of losing you was more terrifying to me than knowing that in a short period of time, I would become partially responsible for a tiny baby. I had no idea what to say to make you stay, and I knew that if you left...'

'But I didn't. I couldn't have. I stayed right by your side, helped you raise this baby during his first months, and I did all of this because I love you. And I learnt to love Milo, too.'

He brought her hand to his lips. 'I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough for it. I know how hard it was for you, and I'm sorry I'm not making it any easier. I know I've been sulking a bit too much these past few days.'

'It's okay. I still love you.' She smiled.

'Come here,' he said, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer to him, so that he could touch his lips to hers.

-xoxo-

She turned off the light in the bathroom, and walked into his bedroom. She crawled into the bed, and for the first time since Milo disappeared from his life, she snuggled into his shoulder, allowing his arms to wrap around her waist. Her fingers knotted at the edge of his top, her pinkies slipping underneath the band of his pyjama bottoms. Her thigh draped over his body, and she sighed contently once she felt his lips graze the top of her hair over and over.

Throughout the day, Serena remembered their conversation, and she thought about one single thing in particular. She wanted to talk to him about it, but she wasn't sure if it wasn't too soon. She wasn't sure if it would make him happy. She knew the only way she'd know was if she asked. But she didn't want to risk anything.

'Okay, your past five blinks lasted longer than five seconds,' he started. 'What's the matter?' he asked, and wrapped his duvet tightly around them.

'I was...just thinking.'

'I know you were, but what about?' Dan asked, his grip tightening just a little around her.

She sighed. 'About what you said today. I don't want this to sound too pushy, and if you don't want to, you have to be completely honest with me about it. Promise me that,' she asked, tilting her chin upwards to look at him.

He smiled, and kissed the tip of her nose. 'I promise.'

She sighed and closed her eyes, swallowing the thick knot in her throat. 'I was wondering...maybe...if you wanted to try and have a baby of our own,' she suggested, her voice weak, and insecure. When she couldn't hear a reply from him, she continued, hoping to avoid the worst. A rejection, or freaking him out. 'I know we're young, and I know you still have a year of college left, so I'm not saying it has to happen _now_. I would just like to know it is a possibility for us. You know, in the near future. I want to know that I have the chance to make you just as happy as you were when Milo was born, but with something that was half _mine_.'

He was stunned by her words. He wasn't quite sure how to respond, not to scare her with his eagerness, yet show her how happy he truly was by hearing her say those things.

'I honestly believe in us, in the success of our future together,' she continued, 'and I want a family with you, not in the way our parents made us when they got married, but in our _own_ way. Please feel free to stop me at any point. I would love to know what you think,' she joked, stopping herself from rambling.

He laughed underneath her, and touched his lips to her temple, allowing his mouth to linger over her skin a minute longer.

'Serena, I am so happy when I am with you, even if we don't have a kid together. But please believe me when I say this, having a baby with you, a _family_ with you, would be the best thing to ever happen to me. And I love you so much for talking to me about this tonight. I am so proud to know that what we have is strong enough to create possibilities for conversations such as this. I don't care about college, or anything else but you. And when you think the time is right, I will be honoured to be the father of your child,' he announced.

She giggled. 'You have this talent of making things cheesy. I think it's my favourite thing about you.' He laughed gently against her.

She shuffled in his arms enough so that she could easily touch his lips with hers, slowly getting lost in their kiss.

'I love you, Dan,' she whispered, and found her place back against his chest.

'You know I love you, too,' he said, and placed his head on top of hers.

_**A/N:**__ We needed Dan and Serena to have a serious talk about Milo, so I added a sweet conversation in there, as well, because I love fluff like that. I hope you guys like this. __**REVIEW**__ PLEASE! Thank you, peeps! xxx_


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